Behind a Healthy Woman, there's Girls and Men

What do "husband schools" have to do with saving women's lives? That is my favorite quote from the Women Deliver 2013 Conference in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia, the largest global health event of the decade.

Coming from a US political climate where women's most basic sexual rights are at risk, the consensus of over 4000 highly educated and sensible people that "Reproductive health is a human right" feels eerily shocking. And yet at Women Deliver, family planning is depoliticized. In the opening session, everybody addressed sexual and reproductive health and rights as absolutely key to the health of global economies and a secure future. "The recognition effect of being heard is absolutely enormous" said Maria Eitel from Nike Foundation. She referred to addressing the needs of adolescent girls, but I take it to mean the fact that global leaders share the vision that the health and freedom of women and girls is key to the future of our planet, our world economies and our families. In the words of Hillary Clinton, "Women are the majority of the world's poor and uneducated. [But] there is a direct connection between a woman's ability to plan her family, space her pregnancies, get an education and provide for her family...We declare reproductive healthcare is essential to the health of women and women's health is essential to the health of everyone." It is magical to be in a space, 4000 people strong, who agree that gender equality and women's reproductive health is an economic driver. The health of women has a broad and positive systemic effect.

For too long, however, focusing only on the health of women as mothers and those holders of half the sky has been too limited. Karl Hoffman, President of Population Services International noted that women's health -including reproductive health- must be taken much more broadly if we're to make the progress that we aim for.

Two key groups have been left out of the development goals equation: Men, and girls between infanthood and adolescence. But men--and girls-- are now being very much encouraged to be part of a global system to helping women have healthy babies, and healthier lives. It feels obvious to write that, and yet for example, girls have not been on the global health agenda. Things are changing, though.

In Sierra Leone, a new program knows reproductive health is about a relationship between men and women. For a woman to be healthy during pregnancy but men need to be fully on board too. Reverend George Buannie is the Executive Director of the Fambul Initiative Network for Equality (FINE). He developed a "husband school," where men teach other men to respect women's rights and sexual health. The villages where FINE works have seen a 60% decrease in rape and gender based violence, and maternal mortality has decreased by more than 60%. Contraceptive use has increased from 30 to 51%.

A true "it takes a village" mentality has been built into several mHealth programs aimed at providing ante and postnatal care to women via mobile phones. After much user testing, developers of these mHealth recognized the importance of reaching gatekeepers to help pregnant women and new moms. Although we in the US are overly familiar with the notion of mom as "Chief Household Officer," and the notion that a woman would not have her own phone might feel scandalous to many US women, only 32% of adult women in the rural state of Bihar, India own their own phone. But 83% of women have access to one. Bihar has among the highest rates of maternal and child mortality in India, but also one of the most rapidly expanding mobile markets: mobile phones outnumber water taps and toilets. In India, BBC Media Action is developing Kilkari, a service to provide subscribers with staged, weekly calls linked to pregnancy, birth and infant health.

Kilkari is actually developed in a male tone of voice to reach the man of the house, who is the gatekeeper and probably owner of the mobile phone in rural Bihar. By motivating the husband or guardian to recognize warning signs, taking action when necessary to get help, and get vaccinations, antenatal visits more women will survive. In Bangladesh, where MAMA just launched one in four moms has at least 4 antenatal care visits; one woman dies every hour from pregnancy related complications. But 80% of these deaths are preventable. Again, in Bangladesh 63% of households have at least one mobile phone and 39% of women have their own handset. The Aponjang program targets men, however, not women. Male "Gatekeepers" are 50% of subscribers to the mobile information service. That would be as if 50% of readers of a popular mom blog were dads- not a terribly likely scenario in the US.

And what about girls? There's a mistaken assumption that girls are included when NGO's and aid agencies invest in women. This is a crucial mistake. In the words of Maria Eitel from Nike Foundation, "Before they're women, they're girls. If we can catch girls at that critical transition of adolescence we have such hope...between 9 and 19 when things either go in the right direction or the wrong direction." A girl before 15, growing up in a poor country is full of hope and dreams. By 15, she knows her future is inextricably linked to her family's economic future and it is her meals, her schooling, her future that will be the first to go.

And as Dr. Nafis Sadik stresses, girls themselves cannot change their own situation- whether girls go to school or not is not their decision. They may want to, but they need adult intervention. And educating girls, preventing child brides, and ensuring girls become healthy women is one of the safest economic bets we can make.

Reeta Roy, head of the Mastercard Foundation, shared the incredible story of CAMFED, an NGO based in Africa that's been working 20 years to create programs focused on highly vulnerable, rural young women. CAMFED ensures them safe passage through their education. They have achieved a 94% retention rate of girls through secondary school. The average age of marriage has been delayed to 22.5 years from 18 or younger. And remarkably, and even without Kickstarter, 17,000 alumnae from CAMFED across the country have funded sending girls to school.

In Uganda, the most youthful country on the continent of Africa, organizations working with adolescent girls simply provide a space for girls to be girls, be with friends and play. In villages where clubs were present there was close to a 25% reduction in pregnancy. 83% of girls reported they were able to put aside unwanted sex: they learned the crucial negotiation skills that would keep them on track to getting an education.

So what's next for the world's girls? It seems unclear now. You can help by literally Putting Girls on the post 2015 Millenium Development agenda. Join the Girl Declaration, to bring the authentic voice of girls to the global development agenda. You can also join GirlUp, bringing the world's girls together for a better world.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/morra-aaronsmele/

Common Bedroom Mistakes That Most Women Make

Think you know everything about sex? Unfortunately, there is lots of room for error when it comes to making love in the bedroom.

I found this post titled "Bedroom Mistakes Women Make" online and thought of sharing it as these tips are essential for enhancement in the pleasure while having sex. I would also love to hear your opinions or any other tips you might have encountered :)

Below are some advice to avoid most common mistakes women make in bed.

1) There's nothing with faking orgasms.

The Fact is: It might seem like a kindness to fake an orgasm - if it makes your partner feel better, what's the problem? First, you're denying yourself pleasure - that's a bad habit. Second, if you fake it, you're giving your partner the wrong impression. The stuff that your significant other thinks is working for you isn't working. Over time, reinforcing that wrong impression can lead to a not-so-satisfying sex life.

2) If your partner masturbates, it means the sex isn't that great.

The Fact is: Your partner masturbates. So what? It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your sex life. It just means your partner's human. 91% of men under age 70 have masturbated and 76% of women - and likely many more.

Masturbation has benefits, too: It relieves stress, helps with PMS pain in women, reduces early ejaculation in men, and may even help you sleep.

3) How many couples often climax at the same time?

The Fact is: If you're always trying for simultaneous orgasms, give yourself a break. For most couples, it's impossible to control. Trying just adds a level of pointless pressure - and, usually, disappointment. It's tough to surrender to the moment if you're gauging your partner and your partner is gauging you. Instead, take turns so you can each give in and fully enjoy yourselves. Look at simultaneous orgasms as nice but rare thing, like seeing a shooting star or winning $5 on a scratch-off ticket.

4) Men think more often about sex than women do.

The Fact is: It's one of those clichés that seems to be true, at least according to research. One recent study found that on average, men think about sex twice as often as women do. Of course, that doesn't mean that sex isn't important for women or that they don't think about it plenty. That same study showed that the average woman thinks about sex 10 times a day.

5) For a good sex life, you should have sex at least:

The Fact is: If you're preoccupied with how much sex you "should" be having, or how much sex is "normal," we've got good news. There is no ideal, recommended amount. So you can stop worrying about how much sex you think everyone else is having and focus on your own relationship. How much sex will keep you both fulfilled? That's what really matters.

6) Cleaning up your bedroom can make for better sex.

The Fact is: We're not talking about French maid role-play (although if that works for you, great). We're talking about how our bedrooms tend to become warehouses for junk - unfolded laundry, piles of dusty magazines, and kids' toys. Getting in the mood for sex means shutting out distractions, and that's easier to do if your bedroom is not full of nagging reminders of boring, daily life. Stripping down your bedroom to make a more neutral, relaxing space can help.

7) Men will have sex anytime, anywhere.

The Fact is: A lot of women are surprised and maybe even dismayed when their partner doesn't feel in the mood. Don't jump to the conclusion that there's some deeper, underlying problem. You know what it's like not to feel like having sex. He may just be tired or having a bad day - it happens to everyone. Try again later.

8) When it comes to talking about problems in your sex life, 100% honesty is best.

The Fact is: If you're unhappy with some aspect of your sex life, you need to talk about it. But that doesn't mean you should list every last one of your complaints. Sex is a sensitive topic for everyone and your partner is likely to feel hurt. Try to keep the discussion positive. Emphasize what's going right - and encourage more of that - instead of dwelling on what's wrong. Never spring a serious discussion about your lack of sexual fulfillment during sex. That's not going to go well.

9) Using a vibrator to masturbate will make it harder to orgasm with your partner

The Fact is: Too many women worry that masturbating, particularly with a vibrator, will desensitize them. Actually, some research has shown the opposite. One study found that compared with women who didn't use vibrators; women who did had better lubrication, were more easily aroused, and found it easier to orgasm when having sex. Experts say that masturbating helps you get in touch with what you like sexually and that can make for a richer sex life with your partner.

10) When it comes to sex, men tend to be more visual than women.

The Fact is: Another cliché that's backed up by scientific data. It's not that women aren't visual; it's that they have more avenues to arousal. Men are likely to be turned on most by visual cues. If he really wants to do it with the lights on, or is always pestering you to wear lingerie, you may have biology to thank.

11) To improve your sex life, connect by talking about your work day each night when you go to bed.

The Fact is: Many couples don't have much time alone together during the week. Because of that, the few hours that they do have after work often get eaten up by practical discussions - talking about work, the kids' upcoming birthday parties, and your budget for the next week. It's not exactly sexy. To improve your love life, make a conscious decision to steer clear of stressful topics before and in bed. Yes, those things still need to be discussed, but try - for instance - getting them out of the way in an email exchange during the day.

12) When experimenting sexually, you should:

The Fact is: Trying something new in bed? Terrific! Experimenting sexually will help keep your relationship fresh. Just make clear what your boundaries are beforehand. Some women worry that they'll seem inflexible and uptight if they start listing stuff they don't want to do. But setting clear guidelines before you get busy is good. You'll both feel more comfortable and relaxed, and that can lead to better sex.

13) Scheduling Sex Kills the romance.

The Fact is: When it comes to sex, planning gets a bad rap. Sure, at the beginning of a relationship, it's easy to have lots of spontaneous sex. But as you settle in - especially if you're also juggling jobs and kids - relying on spontaneity is a mistake. Sex can get shoved aside from the more pressing stuff that makes it into your daily planner. If planning sex seems unromantic, think again. Remember: Vacations and days off are fun, and we plan those. What's wrong with planning sex?

14) If your partner suddenly suggests something unusual in bed, it's a sign your relationship is in trouble.

The Fact is: Sometimes, women can get a little uneasy when partners suggest something new in bed. It can feel like a sign of dissatisfaction with you. Try not to look at it that way. Remember that a healthy sex life is always growing and changing. Why go through life doing the same three things in bed for 60 (or more) years? If you're not particularly keen on the suggestion, just say so. But think about suggesting something else new that you'd like to try instead.

Source: women.webmd.com